11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Randomize
