So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
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