You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome