I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize