I feel great
I just peed on a car
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.