Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
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I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
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I think your husband is breaking up with me...
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.