Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.