i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?