You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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