I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
