ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
