she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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