Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
