I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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