Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
