You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
