You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
