During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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