"it" just moved
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
