so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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