I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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