Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
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