Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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