Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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