And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
