Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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