i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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