and i looked up. we had an audience...
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
