Just cropdusted the office
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
