At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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