Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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