brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
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