dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
So much rum. So many feels.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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