ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I have feelings that need drinking.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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