I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
