If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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