This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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