I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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