you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
The uberlube is also flammable
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
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