I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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