wrigley field is MILF paradise
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
