You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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