Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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