my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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