I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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