I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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