Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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