Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
