my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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