i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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