i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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