worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Rumble strips road head = magical
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
