This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Holy sore nipples Batman
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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