At least make sure they are 18
Why
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Randomize
