If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
