I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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