I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
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I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
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Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
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