nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
