bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
17 year olds will be the death of me.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize