Sry I called you an 8
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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