i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I need a beard to bite.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
