Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
