i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I have already put on my inside pants.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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