mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
