how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
