Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
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Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
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Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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