she looked like the bat from fern gully.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
