you guys were way drunker than both of me
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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